Okay so a few weeks have gone by and we’ve now set our resolutions or intentions or maybe we haven’t. Read my post about setting sustainable goals this year here (ps. it’s never too late to set goals). I strongly believe that in order to make positive changes and bring in the good, you also need to RELEASE things at the same time that are holding you back so here are 10 things you need to release right now to have a better and more productive 2018…yes start these right now!
- negative self talk – don’t act like you never do this… because I know I do. I try so hard to replace these thoughts but those thoughts of ugh, these pants make me look fat still come through my mind. Even in the picture above, I contemplated sharing it or taking 50 more so I could sit at a better angle. The truth is everyone has rolls and I decided to share that! I want to learn to speak more kindly to myself. Your body hears what you speak to it so speak kind, gentle thoughts and remember, if you wouldn’t say it to someone else or aloud, maybe it’s time you replaced that phrase with something you could say.
- self doubt – YOU need to be your #1 cheerleader. Don’t let Felicia over there doing her thing influence how you feel about yourself and your goals. Trust in your abilities. You may not be everyone’s cup of tea but you WILL be someone’s cup of tea! Find something you do well and trust that feeling.
- fear of rejection – we are often so scared of hearing “no” that we never even bother to ask. We never gather the courage to speak up for ourselves but what would happen if you just started asking? Are you wanting that raise your boss promised you or that promotion you think you deserve? Well, go do your research, get all the information you need to back your smart ass up and go for it! Remember, if you never ask, you will never receive. And personally, I would have more respect for someone who had the courage to ask for what they needed to get them that much further in life, may that be more mentorship, more money, more responsibility, more opportunity … you get the point ;). Learn to use your resources to your advantage.
- shitty people – you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with the dreamers, believers, passionate boss babes & men 😉 People that will lift your vibration and push you to be better. The less energy you give to anyone outside of this the better and eventually it will be easier to make time for those who matter vs. those who don’t. Remember quality over quantity is always best. If you don’t believe this, just think back to your high school days or I’ll tell you mine as an example. I barely attended class…like I would come to school from a spare block only to skip the next block with my friends anyways. Don’t get me wrong, my friends were great and not the worst influences on me than some other girls in my school but just to illustrate my example of becoming like the 5 people you choose to surround yourself with.
- rules…you arbitrarily have set for yourself – In the past year I’ve really been reflecting on my diet and lifestyle and it got me thinking about these “rules” I’ve picked up over the years. Random stuff like “don’t eat carbs at night”, “bread is bad”, “eat more protein”, “you should eat more paleo, vegan, gluten-free” BLAH BLAH BLAH! I’m over it! I hate…yes hate these labels. They work for some people and that’s great but for me (being a rebel without a cause) I feel restricted, anxious and “bad” when I break them. What happened to just being and living? This year, I’m continuing to practice intuitive eating and throwing these rules in the garbage. I want to feel my best and for me setting these rules, just isn’t that.
- always having to be right – have you ever gotten in an argument where you both thought you were right and it got heated? Yeah me too – This year I’m letting that need to always having to prove my point go. At the end of the day, it just hurts me and my relationships if I continuously have to prove a point. Sure sometimes when a quick “Google” will settle the score, then great! But other times, now I’m just letting people believe what they want because often times, they just aren’t ready or willing to hear it any other way and I value my relationships more than this need.
- justifying your actions – stop playing defense. The older I get, the less shit I take from people…and I’m not even that old! ha! My friends always say that I’m 0 B.S. kinda girl but really I just believe in mutual respect. Anytime you find yourself having to justify your choices, priorities or whatever, it’s not the right situation for you.
- the “if only” mentality – way too often do we hear the “if only” phrases. Examples: I would join a local soccer team and pick up my favourite sport again if only I had the time. If only I could lose weight I would be happier. If only I learned Spanish, I would go to Spain. Ditch those “if only phrases” and either make them happen (if they are realistic) or ditch your limiting belief and just GO FOR IT! Most of the time, you don’t really even need the thing you are waiting for in order to follow your goals.
- fear of being alone – recently I realized that I do a lot of things with friends and family. Partly because I’m at work during the week so if I go get my nails done or go to a yoga class, it’s always fun to go with other people and make it more of a social outing too. There’s nothing wrong with that but recently I wanted to attend an event last minute and I ended up having to go alone. I spent quite a significant amount of time trying to talk myself out of it in fear of not knowing anyone and feeling uncomfortable. The weird thing is, I know my personality and that once I go, I’ll meet people and have a great time but for some reason that fear still gets to me. This year I want to go to more events, meet ups etc. ALONE and learn to meet new friends and be okay with being alone. I also want to spend more alone time with myself instead of filling all my days as much as possible.
- chasing happiness – happiness is a journey, not a destination. The more we chase happiness, the less happy we are. Instead if we focus on our day to day tasks and happiness, we are living in the moment and appreciating the little things that add up to make a happy life. I really believe it’s a perspective change.
I hope these were helpful to you and that you will join me in giving up some if not all of these things this year! I love hearing from you! Be sure to comment below or get in touch with me via email or my social media channels under @balancingandie.